Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
