The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
