and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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