i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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