like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
