I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
