Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
