Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
