When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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