If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
