Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
