He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
