yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
