remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
