the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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