the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
