so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
