VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
His nipple licking is glorious
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