Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
