I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
