You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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