I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
