Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
