you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
