I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
