So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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