Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
