im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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