btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
