im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
