we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Help. Why am I so naked?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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