i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
