Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
