Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
