hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You can't special order awesome
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
