I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
