The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
