and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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