A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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