We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
