It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
