i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
