margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
false alarm. still invincible.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
