yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
