It's Friday. Sex?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
