Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
