I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I touched a dick in church today
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
