Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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