I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
