physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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