if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
