dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
