Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
