You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
