i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
