there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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